tidbits: why i love lana del rey

She represents a kind of person - a kind of woman.  She is a symbol of freedom (even to the point of danger) and recklessness.  She markets herself as the new Marilyn Monroe - a woman of both glamour and sexual mystery.  Her confidence in herself seems boundless, and she doesn't have time for the negative backlash that comes her way.  

Lana Del Rey is a dichotomy, with her internal wavering made apparent simply by the tattoos that grace her hands ("trust no one" and "paradise").  She is connected to reality, but she is a fantasy.  I love her monologues - she is a poet with a dark past and a rebellious nature, and she isn't afraid to share these things about herself.

In addition to all of these amazing things, she's also been hailed as having one of the most expansive vocal ranges of any female singer in the present time.  You've heard it - the super-low tones as well as the high-pitched wails that would sound like screeching if anyone else attempted it.  She took a round-about road to find her passions and talents, but now she is embracing them and connecting to the population through them.

While I, myself, could do without the "dark past" part (I highly recommend you all read a biography about her - they're posted all over the web), I can't think of another woman who I'd aspire to be in my youth.  Mysterious and confident, with deep thoughts and a beautiful connection to language - that, I believe, will be Lana Del Rey's claim to fame, even years from now, post-relevance.

To finish this up, I'll post one of my favorite monologues by her - even if you don't like her as a singer or a person, these are worth reading, I promise...

I was in the winter of my life, and the men I met along the road were my only summer.  
At night I fell asleep with visions of myself, dancing and laughing and crying with them.  
Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour, and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times.  
I was a singer - not a very popular one.  
I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken.  
But I didn't really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it to know what true freedom is.  
When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I'd been living, they asked me why - but there's no use in talking to people who have home.  
They have no idea what it's like to seek safety in other people - for home to be wherever you lay your head.

I was always an unusual girl.  
My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean...  
And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I'd be lying...  
Because I was born to be the other woman.  
Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.  
Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me...  

We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore, except to make our lives into a work of art.  

Every night I used to pray that I'd find my people, and finally I did on the open road.

x Deven

tidbits: ryan gosling films you should watch

Ah, Ryan Gosling.  All the ladies love him.  Why?  Because of the The Notebook.  Because of this sad fact, I'm writing this post to broaden your horizons; RG has accomplished much more than one Nicholas Sparks movie.  So, here's a tidbit-sized list of some lesser-known movies that include Ryan Gosling and are amazing.

1. Blue Valentine
A beautifully broken romance between Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams).  Dean, a high school drop-out, is working for a moving company in Pennsylvania.  He first meets Cindy - a pre-med student - at a nursing home, where she is visiting her grandmother.  They find a way to contact each other after their first meeting, and so begins one of the best young-wild-love sequences (in my opinion) in film.

Not long after they get together, Cindy finds out that she is pregnant, but she isn't sure if it's Dean's baby or her ex's.  They head to the abortion clinic, but at the last minute, Cindy decides not to go through with it.  Dean tells her that, no matter who's baby it is, he still wants to be with her.  And the movie continues - no spoilers here!

I can guarantee, however, that you'll develop a love-hate relationship with nearly every character in this movie.  It's a love story but, as the title might suggest, it's not exactly a happily-ever-after.

2. The Place Beyond the Pines
Foreword: I think this should be known as The All-Star Cast That Flew Under the Radar.  Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, and Eva Mendes - what more could you want?

This movie is set in Schenectady, New York.  The movie essentially begins when Luke Glanton (Ryan Gosling), a motorcycle stuntman in a traveling fair, runs into his ex, Romina (Eva Mendes), whom he soon finds out he has a child with (they broke up before she knew she was pregnant).  Romina is currently seeing another man, but Luke works to insert himself into their household in order to play a larger part in his son's life.  Fast forward and police officer, Avery Cross - Bradley Cooper - enters the scene.  He has a run-in with Luke, and plays a crucial role in ending the make-shift family dynamic between Luke, Romina, and their son Jason.  The movie progresses from there, and includes a bit of everything - sadness and loneliness, corruption and remorse, love and forgiveness.

Warning: this movie moves a bit slowly.  There are two types of people in the world: those that like plot, and those that like character development.  This is definitely on the character development side, so be prepared for a slower movie with a large focus on growth and feeling and only a few crucial events.

tidbit: 19 reasons why i love my boyfriend

Attention readers: this is a post I wrote a few months ago, and never got around to publishing.  Since this time, my boyfriend and I have broken up for very complicated reasons.  THAT BEING SAID, I still believed this post (and what's written in it) was valuable to put up, because in our final months together, the advice below really did make a positive difference.  Enjoy reading, and I'll have an update on the status of my love life in the coming week...

It's so easy to get caught up in life, isn't it?  Everyone is busy with work or school ... stressed about finances, body image, and family ... wondering when the next big thing will happen for them ... and all the while trying to catch up on goals and plans, schedules and deadlines, and a plethora of other things.

So, so easy to get caught up in life ... and forget about what's really important (i.e. your significant other).

The longer a relationship lasts, the more that person becomes a part of your routine.  But that's not what we want - that's not what the novels and the rom coms have trained us to want!  We all want to fall in love again every single day - to have a person so special that they can remind us of it in every breath, every action ...

But it doesn't happen that way.  And so, I've come to believe that it's important to daydream (exercise sound judgment when deciding where and when to daydream) about your relationship once in a long while - remember why you fell in love in the first place.  I promise, this activity will make you smile.

Now, on to the real stuff: why I love my boyfriend.  Reasons are in no particular order.  

Babe, I hope you read this at some point ...

1. He has the happiest smile in the world
2. He enjoys my quirkiness, and makes a point to remind me of that 
3. When I challenge him, he challenges me right back
4. It makes me happy to wake up and see him beside me
5. His cuddle skills are top notch
6. His hair is awesome (head hair, facial hair, you get the picture)
7. He is patient and relaxed, even when I'm an emotional wreck
8. He makes me laugh :) every day
9. He tries his hardest to understand - not condemn - my tears
10. He embraces my femininity, as well as my moments of tomboyish-ness 
11. He thinks I'm beautiful all the time - in the morning, in tears, half-asleep, makeup / no-makeup, clothed / naked, ranting, relaxed, angry, happy, drunk ... all the time
12. His family is amazing, and he is a reflection of that
13. He is straightforward - sometimes it hurts, but sometimes it's exactly what I need 
14. He is proud of me, and proud to have me
15. He isn't afraid to tell me how he feels about me
16. My health is important to him [MINI STORY: once, I had a panic attack at 3AM.  He woke up and took care of me, and when love and comfort wasn't enough, he ran all the way across campus and back not once but twice to get my inhaler] 
17. He treats me like a princess - carries me, gets me what I need (with a bit of humorous complaint), massages whatever part of me that hurts ... he's a real sweetheart 
18. The sex. Duh (this point sounds a bit aggressive coming after the last point, but whatever) 
19. He encourages me to be independent and confident in myself (still working on that latter, but I'll get there) 

And I'm going to end it there because 19 is an odd number (I hate evens), and because I could never cover all the reasons in one blog post, anyway.  The point of this is to appreciate the one you have - reminisce about why you fell in the first place, and enjoy the other lovable traits you find along the way.  Your person is more than an element of your routine - they are yours.

To my boyfriend: I love you.

x Deven

tidbits: shout-out to mo ganji

Mo Ganji.  I am in love with this man.  Not in the way that I love my man, but in the way that I love the way he speaks to the world - the way he shares his passion and his craft.

The man.  The myth.  The legend.

Yes, he's a tattoo artist.  He works out of Berlin, and specializes in single line tattooing - a style that, in looks and theory, allows an entire image to be created with one single line.  Everything connects.

My university has a program where students can study abroad during spring break - there's a trip to Berlin, and I am about to do everything in my power to get in on that trip.  Because I will be tattooed by Mo Ganji, and it will be amazing.

I encourage everyone reading to check out his website: http://www.moganji.com/

Something I believe is worth saying: Mo Ganji is a fantastic artist, among many other tattoo artists out there.  If you happen to love his work as much as I do, please respect his artistic and intellectual property - in other words, don't steal his designs, no matter how beautiful they are.  Go the honest route and have him create a custom design for you, if you really want one.

Final words; I love you, Mo Ganji.  Please tattoo my body in the near future.

x Deven

tidbits: a woman's tears

We all hate to cry - me, especially.  I've had a difficult year, and shedding tears has become a common occurrence for me.  During my teenage years, however, I rarely cried; I perceived crying to be a sign of weakness.  I also didn't want to fall into the female stereotype of crying all the time.  Because of this, I held all of my emotions in - packed them into an internal box, so to speak.  My friends and I would joke that I was the stone cold fox (this is also a clothing brand, for those of you who don't know), with emphasis on the "stone cold" part.  Because of this, I never gave myself the chance to discover the healing magic of tears - and especially the magic of a woman's tears.

Have you noticed that when men get stressed or angry, they always turn to a physical activity?  Running, lifting weights, punching things, etc...  This is because men, as I've learned, are wired to release their stress hormone - cortisol - in their sweat.  There is much more cortisol in a man's sweat than in a woman's sweat.

Now, we can turn it around; there is much more cortisol in a woman's tears than in a man's.  We, as women, are biologically required to cry - without shedding tears, stress hormones within the body have to find much less efficient ways to escape.  So, level with me: after crying uncontrollably (or whichever crying style you decide to exercise) you always feel better, don't you?  Almost like you could sleep soundly for the first time in a long time - like a weight has been lifted.  Your stress was washed away by your tears, along with the other emotions that brought the tears on in the first place.

In short, don't shy away from your tears, ladies.  They don't make you weak - they cleanse you, and help you to fight another day.

x Deven

tidbits: "i loved you at your darkest"

If you haven't seen this alleged Romans 5:8 quote on Pinterest, you simply aren't looking hard enough.  This is a phrase that resonates with many of us; we're all that person at some point, for someone - the person who stands by another when they are at their lowest, most painful, most difficult time in their lives.  It's a verse that brings out positive feelings as well as negative ones - being human, we can sometimes twist beautiful words to carry ugly meanings.  How could you do [insert terrible thing] to me?  I was there for you when nobody else was.  I know you've thought that.  I have too.

But I digress.  Notice how I wrote "alleged" Romans 5:8 quote?  Now pay attention: the quote "I loved you at your darkest" does not exist in Romans 5:8 ... or in Romans, or in the bible at all, actually.

You're probably feeling terribly deceived at this point - maybe I can help.  I'll open my bible [RSV Catholic Edition] right now and copy Romans 5:6-8 for you (the two previous verses are relevant for context), and then maybe you won't feel like Pinterest has led you completely astray.

"While we were yet helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  Why, one will hardly die for a righteous man - though perhaps for a good man one will dare even to die.  But God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us." 

Romans 5:6-8

The last sentence of the above quote is - you guessed it - the real Romans 5:8.  But you can see how the now-famous social media derivative makes sense, right?  "I loved you at your darkest" is simply a translation from third person to first - in the Bible, God's death and greatest act of love was described by someone else, while the quote is the interpretation of the verse from God's point of view - as if God was talking to you, the reader.

In the end, though, this tidbit is all just one big technicality - for those of you who are religious, you know that God loves you, even at your darkest moments.  So whether you like the bible version or the social media version, the message remains the same :)

x Deven

welcome :)

Happy happy, joy joy!  Welcome to my new blog.  This very short post is the first of many longer posts to come - I encourage you to keep reading in the coming weeks.  I explained most of everything on my "about" page (click on my name in the right sidebar), but here are the basics in case you don't got time fo' dat:

My name is Deven, I live on both coasts of the United States, depending on the time of year.  I am a dual-degree student in school, although I focus mostly on one major: fashion merchandising.  I've got a lot to say and share and I'm excited to do so.

I hope you continue to hang out with me as life goes on :)

x Deven